Involving our 2 boys in our adoption journey.

[mommy22boys]

My husband & I are starting our adoption journey, & I want our boys to be involved. I want them to know we may adopt a baby to add to our family & give them another sibling. I want to make sure they understand that the new baby will be their sister or brother, even though she/he won't be growing inside my tummy. Do you think this is a good idea? Or when is a good time to talk to them about it? They are 13 & 9. I just don't want to go through the whole process without them knowing & come home with our new child & their new sibling out of the blue one day. I think that would confuse them..?? They also may ask about where the baby will be coming from & could go with us to meet the BM, BF, etc, but would need to understand how the closed adoption process works. Ideas on how to explain it to them?? Tks

[Administrator]

I would think they would be old enough to be a part of the process. They would certainly need to be prepared for a new sibling, just as you would prepare them for the idea if you were concieving and carrying a child. Communication is essential for all to feel secure in their roles in the family, whether that role is parenting, or sibling open dialog and communication can go a long ways. Best of luck to you!